Divorced Mums – Work Life Balance

 

Yoga woman meditating

Perpetual Perfection

Why as women do we punish ourselves to achieve perpetual perfection? To be the perfect business woman, the perfect Mother, the perfect friend. Wanting to control everything so the perception to the outside world is that there is simply nothing we can’t achieve.

This endless torture consumes our lives zapping any glimmer of true happiness, of never quite reaching those goals, of never quite being enough, & never achieving the standards that we imagine will bring the contentment we desire.

But who sets these goals?

Who allows us to buy into this thought process?

Who drives this relentless cycle?

Who criticises us when we don’t achieve these goals?

After divorce these standards as a working Mum can become higher, more intense, more overwhelming & more out of reach.

As a simple working Mum can you do it all & have it all?

The simple answer is yes you can have it all, but not necessarily all at the same time!

So how can we juggle these expectations & still remain sane!!!

Step One – Orgainise

However much we would love to live a care free life, without a schedule the secret is always in the detail. A balanced plan is vital however this should not be about listing all the things YOU need to achieve, it is about the engagement of others. What support system have you in place & have you maximised your support network.

Is the schedule balanced?

Again this should not just be about menial tasks. It should also include family time, time to watch & observe your children’s development & growth, to really enjoy these special moments. It should also include some time for YOU.

Step Two – Reflection

Once you have your schedule, reflection is the key. Many people have the mindset that to have a balanced life this means spending the same amount of time on work activities as they do on personal activities. This may not be realistic. The demands from your employer & your children constantly change so its about been flexible. However knowing when to be flexible & when to say no can be very powerful. In particular if a week or day is looking overwhelming cut back & don’t book anything else in. You will only be the best version of yourself if you have time to rest & recover. Create your boundaries. Although these boundaries are not so clear cut, many of us bring work home or have our own businesses, office hours don’t always apply. Therefore it is important that we create these boundaries for ourselves. When it’s time to bath the kiddies switch those devices off & enjoy the splashing!

Step Three- Boundaries

The cause of anxiety is when we are fearful about something in the future. For working Mums this fear of not achieving all they need too is normality. But how can we stop this?

Do you rush the task in hand & are already thinking about the next task before you have finished?

Practice staying in the moment & don’t let you mind control your body. Enjoy the task you are doing. Give it your full attention & revel in your ability & your achievements.

Ensure that however busy you have time for yourself. Maintaining these boundaries is vital to your mental & physical health. Do something you love, or treat yourself to something that brings you pleasure every day. This doesn’t have to cost anything it can be as simple as sitting for 5-10 minutes watching the world go by. Do not feel guilty.

This will create balance & clarity. It will also remind you, who you are and what things are important to you.

Create time to breath.

Step Three- Fitness & Recovery

Keep your body moving.

Review your diet. Having a healthy eating plan to feed your body with the correct fuel. Don’t be tempted to eat (or drink) what makes us feel better rather than what will make us stronger.

If you would like more information or support please give me a call on 07754397859 / (01953) 602358 or alternatively email me info@joraynercoaching.co.uk