Young woman standing in a corner suffering from a severe depression/anxiety . She has her arms folded & looks sad, stressed & overwhelmed

Young woman suffering from a severe depression/anxiety (color toned image; double exposure technique is used to convey the mood of unease, progression of the anxiety/depression)

When is enough enough?

How can I make real changes in my life?

We all have situations in our lives which we would like to improve or change however if we wait for the right time the chances are we won’t do it so how do we determine when the time is right.

For me there were two potential things to think through the first is how bad is the current situation, am I looking at it rationally or is it a phase that will pass or I can work through it? Secondly what is the impact it will have on those that rely on me and on my own self worth?

So let’s look at the first half of this equation.

Whilst the scenario will be different for everyone the emotions attached will be similar. For me having dealt with divorce and close family bereavement and coped in the best way I could, the situation that brought me to my “enough is enough” moment was definitely my previous career where nothing was ever good enough. This created self doubt where confidence and joy once lived.

After a while, of living within this negative environment our bodies and wellbeing start to suffer.

This may be that you feel depressed unable to provide the motivation required, you notice physical signs, weight gain, pains within the body, tight muscles especially in the back, neck and shoulders, interrupted sleep and increased alcohol consumption all of which makes everything much worse.

Now this not only has an impact on our lives but also is definitely noticed by those around us, often pride and ego means that we do not discuss it with a loved one making them feel isolated and confused. So knowing that this situation is impacting on our health, family and loved ones we know that we must for our own well-being make a change. However the second part is how this will affect those around us and can we cope with the changes.

Here are a few factors to think about before deciding how and what to change whether that’s in your work or personal life.

Self Worth and Ego – Am I defined by what I do in a work environment can I cope with people not seeing me in this way. Will I feel ashamed of a new perceived lesser life? Will change be a seen as a negative by others, do I want more responsibility? What will this responsibility look like and what impact will this have?

Regret – Am I sure because if I make this huge decision there will be no going back. How do I normally make decisions and do I need more time or facts to support and help make this decision.

Money – If finances are involved can I still meet my monthly commitments? Am I prepared to give up some luxuries to enable me to change?

Family – How do I communicate just how bad things are and would they support me? What impact will this have and will there be an impact on our long-term future.

Home can I maintain my home if not am I prepared to change downsize or even rent and if I am, will my family also be prepared to.

So if things stack up and having considered all relevant information you decide it’s a YES FOR CHANGE you may have to develop an exit strategy. The most important things particularly if the problem is a work-related one is that you make sure:

Your head rules the heart and you play your cards very close to your chest. In this situation rely on yourself you can never be sure of other peoples agenda.

Communicate effectively and on your terms

Stay in control and focused on what needs to be done this may take some time but will be worth it.

So if you are feeling “enough is enough” and need help making a change in your life developing an exit strategy or with techniques and tools to help you cope better with the current situation contact Jo Rayner Life Coaching and make your life better from today.

CALL ME ON 01953 602358 Mobile 07754 397 859

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I offer a Free 30 minute telephone consultation so if you have any questions or just want to find out how I can help then please get in touch

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Coaching is about YOU

It is about having an open and honest conversation, in a safe confidential environment where you can reflect, revaluate & respond to your needs & put yourself first to ensure you achieve all your goals in life & live your best life.
Coaching is not about judging or criticising but learning how to unlock your full potential, raising your awareness of the strengths & talents you already have. It is about creating a shift from where you are to where you want to be.
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