Jo Rayner Coaching - November Newsletter


What is the key to Happiness?

Do you crave Happiness? 
Is this what we all desire?

I've had lots of communication this month on the topic of Happiness.  How do we achieve Happiness? How do we maintain it & what does it look like?

Happiness has different meaning to different people, different cultures, & different spiritual belief systems. For example Buddisium teaches that “Ultimate happiness is only achieved by overcoming cravings in all forms”, whilst our western beliefs drive happiness in the form of family, career achievements & financial gain.

So do we feel in today chaotic world that it is our right to be happy or do we have to work at this day by day to make it happen?

What is the difference between Happiness & Contentment? 
 Happiness is one of four emotions we experience Happiness, Sadness, Anger & Anxiety. These emotions are fluid within our day to day life, allowing us to enjoy the state of happiness within that moment rather than chasing the image of it & expecting this high emotional state to be maintained for long periods of time. Contentment can be sustained for longer periods & allows the four emotions to come & go without extreme highs & lows. 
So how can we achieve this state?
Breaking this into two simple areas can make happiness  more obtainable in our everyday life however it is a daily choice to ensure we create this for ourselves.

1. Feeling more positive emotions than negative

2. Feeling content with your life
As Mahatma Gandhi quoted “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
So how do we create these positive emotions & contentment?
Stop negative thoughts
Strengthen the mind to prevent negative thoughts overwhelming emotions like a tidal wave of pain. If you can become aware of the negative phrases you use with yourself & replace them with positives ones. (Even if you don’t believe them at the beginning with practice you may just start to believe.)
Stop the “I should haves”.  
“I should have done this better" or “I should have prevented this” Learn from each experience as Maya Angelou the acclaimed American poet, storyteller & activist quoted “When you know better you do better”
Stop placing huge expectations on life.
Huge expectations ruin our peace & happiness as the great William Shakespeare said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache
Start taking a few minutes for yourself when you need it.
Make yourself the one you look after.  Cherish who you are & allow yourself just to be in the moment.
Start Letting go of painful negative thoughts.
However challenging this may be, negative thoughts will only create dissatisfaction not peace & contentment. Indulge in the art of gratitude. Compile a list of what you are grateful for each day. However small reflect on those tender things.
Start to simplify your life.
Don’t let the huge list of jobs control your life. Be in control or your life. You can only achieve one thing at a time. Concentrate & give your full attention to the one  most important thing of the day. Be in the moment.
Start to look after your body & mind.
Eat healthy & exercise. Ensure your physical body is in shape to function at its best & the same with your inner self.  Meditate, laugh, and enjoy nature and the wonders of your life.


Quote of the Month

"The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it." ECKHART TOLLE

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Recommended Books

Take a look at my previous Blogs


I have chosen two books this month as both have helped clients change the view on Happiness.  Let me know what you think.

"A New Earth" Eckhart Tolle 
"Eat ,Prey, Love" By Elizabeth Gilbert

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Jo has been involved in coaching for over 20 years & her passion in life has been to help individuals in fulfilling their potential. Jo has a diploma in life coaching which was undertaken with the UK College of personal development and a member of the Association for Coaching. She also writes articles for the Divorced Parents Magazine & is one of the Coaching Experts





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